


All I Want For Christmas

by Lobotomite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 18:06:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17146523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lobotomite/pseuds/Lobotomite
Summary: She's learnt to live around it, but Rebecca's memory problems still get the better of her sometimes - and unfortunately, this year that means a last-minute hunt for a present for Jack.





	All I Want For Christmas

Debbie thought Bex would be back to her usual bubbly self now that their last minute present hunt had finally turned up what they were looking for. And she had been, at first; she'd spun towards Debbie with the plastic case clutched triumphantly in her hands, face lit up, putting a mirroring smile of relief on Debbie's face as she hurried over to give her a congratulatory kiss. 

Bex had been positively buoyant while they waited far too long in line to checkout and then settled in for a drive home sure to be just as slow, but had slowly deflated while they were driving until she was staring down at the case and turning it over in her hands with that far away look Debbie hates to see on her face. She's reluctant to abandon her place in traffic, but she feels like this is going to be a conversation she'll need to be able to concentrate on, so she makes up her mind and pulls into the first parking spot she can see. 

"Debs? What's wrong?" Bex asks. startled. "Did we forget something else?"

"No, we've got everything we need," she replies. "Which is why I'm wondering what's got you so upset. What's up, Bex?"

"No, it's nothing," Bex says quickly, plastering a clearly fake smile on her face. "I'm just tired, is all, don't let me bring you down."

Debbie gives her a disapproving look. 

"You know you don't have to pretend with me, Bex. Come on, what's wrong? It's almost Christmas, we got Jack his present, and we've still got a good few hours with an empty house. We should be happy."

"I am," Bex protests. "No, really, I'm really happy we found the game he wanted. It's just... well, we wouldn't have needed to go to all this trouble if I wasn't- if I wasn't so..." She trails off, mouth twisted into a frown, but Debbie knows now what's got her upset.

"Bex, hey, come on. It's not your fault that you still forget sometimes."

"I know, I know, it's still- I just- This is what I used to be _good_  at," she says in a low, strained voice, eyes wet. "Planning things, and being organised, and I mean, okay, my life wasn't the most put together and I spent a lot of it jetting around and having fun, but parties, celebrations - those were always something I was good at. They were some of the only things I was good at and now I- now I can't even remember to get my son the fucking Christmas present he's been looking forward to." 

Despite everything, her chest still squeezes whenever Bex calls Jack hers - it's been years, but it still gets her, those little reminders of the family they've cobbled together. More important right now, though, is the way Bex's lips are trembling, the tear that's managed to escape and is working it's way down her face. She unbuckles her seatbelt to twist around and reach across the car, pulling Bex into her embrace and kissing behind her ear.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. You got everything else, didn't you? Look how far you've come, since the accident. You've got all the kids' presents ready, you've got our kitchen full of all the food we could possibly need, you've handled everything while I've been snowed under at work. So what if you forgot one present? Plenty of people do that without any reason. What matters is that you've been out for hours looking for it so he gets to unwrap it on Christmas day. Okay? He knows you love him, and we love you."

Debbie isn't so good at this - comforting people, knowing the right thing to say. She never knows how to turn her feelings into words. But Bex always seems to appreciate her attempts regardless, and this time is no different - she sniffs and surreptitiously wipes her eyes, but when she draws away her face is more relaxed and she manages a genuine smile.

"I know. I'm sorry, I don't mean to ruin the day - I am happy we found it. It's just hard sometimes, still."

"I know," Debbie says, relieved that she seems to have brightened up. "But we've still got a few hours with the kids all out. Let's get home and I'll give you some proper cheering up." Bex grins at that, leaning in for a kiss that's too tempting for her own good.

"Let's get a move on, then."

Life has never been easy; not for Debbie. But it ended up with her having three wonderful - occasionally incredibly frustrating - kids and a wife she adores,  who's looking at her like she hung the sun in the sky and whose hand is currently deliciously warm on her thigh. To get this, she'd do all of it again in a heartbeat.


End file.
